Warning! This post was written over a period of 3 weeks, so may read a little confusingly!
I fell of the bus with the whole exercise thing about two weeks ago. The nutrition part is going wonderfully, and I’ve lost a total of 5kg. The exercise, not so much. I’m working really hard at the moment, late nights, full days, and then the whole house got sick, except me (Thank God). I had 3 vomiting boys for a whole week, and somehow they all vomited in the early hours of the morning, right in the middle of my much needed sleep. So then when 5:00 comes, and I have to choose, I choose sleep every time. Wrong choice I know, but sometimes an extra hour of sleep means survival to me. Surviving another 12 hour workday with all the other family responsibility inbetween. And seeing clients with a clear head. And running the business while at least being able to think. BUT. And it’s a big BUTT, and my big butt, I need exercise. I know I do. For a healthy body and mind, I need it. So here, now, AGAIN, I commit. I do think I was approaching it wrong, and therefore I will now rather exercise late nights, after all my work is done for the day. After work I’m always still wide awake and wired, and then usually need a glass of wine or two to unwind, which is “legal” on my diet, BUT if I rather get on the spinning bike for 40 minutes, that will give my mind plenty of time to unwind, and I will sleep better, (not that I’ve ever really had a problem with sleep), and it will cut out the extra calories of 2 glasses of wine. Win/win.
So the 4th week of transformation is all about the community connection. (I know I’ve missed a few weeks, but at least I’m on the right track again, and my eating habits didn’t fall by the wayside).
They’ve done studies, and it all comes down to no matter which diet you’re following, if you have support, real active support, you’ll lose over 200% more weight than someone with no support. Interesting, isn’t it?
So three people I can count on for unconditional, non judgmental support are firstly my two brothers, both on the 4hour body with me. And struggling along to get to the perfect weight and level of fitness. Secondly one of my best friends, Idele, she is always just a bbm or phone call away for a little motivation, and she isn’t scared to call me out on my sometime feeble excuses, and then thirdly, you guys, especially Mandi, who is always so encouraging. Every single comment I get here spurs me on to do a little better every day. (Mostly because I’m shit scared my after photo will look just like my before photo, and then you’ll all judge me, but hey, being scared is a good motivational tool in my case)
Ps – two days later and I haven’t exercised 
monday night I worked until 01:00, and last night at 23:00 the boys woke up. So what now?? Barend, my brother, said this morning that I should just get my head right, and still exercise in the mornings. No tv, and no wine after working late nights, just straight to bed with a book, and then get up at 5. So that’s what I’m going to try. Again. Hold thumbs!
*this is now a week later. And I haven’t exercised. Nutrition is going wonderfully, I’ve lost 7kg in total now. But I need my sleep. And this is why – Somewhere along the line the past two years, I lost touch with the cost of living in a way, and now I don’t make enough money. I make more than previous years, BUT somehow I can’t keep up with the escalating cost of everything. I haven’t done research in years about how much my costs are, and how much the shops charge, and my prices haven’t gone up in years. So somehow I now have to work 10-12 hour days just to make a living. And it sucks. My whole day consists of stress, work, a little bit of kids, work, stress, work work work work, 3 hours of seeing clients and getting kids fed bathed and into bed, and then work work work. And do you know what? That is why I choose sleep every time that alarm goes off. So, it is maybe a cop out, BUT I’ve given myself time off from exercise. The 5th of May silly season is over, then the quiet winter months start, and then I’ll have more time. And then I’ll re-commit. I’ll carry on with the Transformation, I’ll carry on with the 4 Hour Body, and I’ll throw in a life-coach (yes, I need one! For one just to teach me to charge more and stop feeling sorry for clients!) So this is me, giving myself a break. It is probably a stupid decision, but at the moment I can’t handle anything more on my plate.
****first I lost the rest of my post, then I accidentally pocket tweeted a part of it, and now the “second” end, which I wrote yesterday, is just gone :/
So here I go again. I’ll start exercising in May, when I have more time and less work stress. I’m still only 7kg down, I’ve reached a plato, but hopefully after this week I’ll start losing again. I’ve had my first session with life-coach, and wow, I have issues with self-worth, and sjoe, I was exhausted after our session! All that digging into my soul made me tired. I feel all renewed today though, and ready for a week with lots of obstacles. (Nanny is off sick, seamstress’ aunt died, so she’s off on friday to travel to funeral.) It never just rains, it pours!
And do you know what? So what if I take more than 18 weeks to finish this journey. Because that is what this is, a journey to a better, slimmer, more fabulous me. And if it only takes 18 weeks, or more like 18 months, that’s ok. I must stop putting unrealistic pressure on myself, I work ridiculous hours, I have two busy kids, and in between I still make time for family and friends. So it’s ok if I take my time with this journey. Small steps, big leaps, either way I’ll get to where I must ultimately be. And that reality makes me happy.
If you begin to face your fears,
something bittersweet
is going to happen to you: You’ll grow up.
–Martha Beck
